You may have noticed that I have set up a youtube, god knows, I don’t know anyone who follows my tumblr that isn’t on my facebook friends list, but just in case, here’s my latest video, in which I try out some video opening things and play a little game.
Four for you Whovians.
You go Whovians.you guys
I cannot f***ing believe that I just google image searched “genocide”.
No, he didn’t come up.
Can I just shove this in that bitches face to show her what a poser cunt she is?
Metal or not A7x sucks ass! Talented but their music is horrible! Their fans are fucking obnoxious!
It’s kinda obnoxious generalising all fans of a band under one umbrella term as “obnoxious”.
One of my best friends adores them and she hasn’t got an obnoxious bone in her body.
They’re talented but suck? I kinda see your point but… generalising their fans is stupid.
They are metal/metalcore, just cause it’s popular, has catchy riffs and tame points doesn’t mean it isn’t metal.
Hey, avenged was kinda a gateway drug for me to harder metal. Still like ‘em now.
Cynicism beat down.
Y’know what, I’m feeling cynical this morning. Even more than usual. Time to crack some naive points of view.
1: “Violence is always unnecessary”.
That’d be a nice world wouldn’t it? Thing is, sometimes people who are crazy or just plain evil somehow get a hell of a lotta power, and hurt a hell of a lotta people. Thing is, a government can often find ways to protect themselves from a legal overthrow. Often tyrants make it so the only way to get rid of them is to kill them.
Of course, if people weren’t violent in the first place this wouldn’t be a problem, but the thing is, violence is kinda what tyrants do, and as long as we’re not all taking pills to erase our emotions and make us succeptible to peace-filled brainwashing until Christian Bale frees us all with badass gun-fu, there will be tyrants.
Hang on, even in equilibrium there was a tyrant. Oh well, just makes me more right.
2: “It’s what’s inside that counts”/”there’s someone for everyone”.
Oh boy. This is a big one. So, apparently, people will looooo. Loooo. LOOOOOvvvee *vomit* you for your personality, not your looks. Well, they’ll like you for that. Romanticly however? Hehe. HAhahaha. HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA! You believe that disney c***? Everyone’s shallow. Everyone. More and more these days. Just the way it goes, human nature, all that c***. The only reason I ain’t so shallow is because I’m effectively defective in the mind, I don’t think how a normal human should. Unfortunately for me, I don’t look like a normal human should either, so at 21 I’ve learned this lesson over and over.
So, if you look horrifying, then take it from a pro abomination. Give up, you’re wasting your time and effort. A lot of people would be saved a lot of pain and humiliation if people stopped lying about this. I’m looking at you again, disney.
Don’t think you got away with it though, dreamworks. I’m got my eye on all of y’all. My floating, invisible robot eyes.
3: “Money doesn’t buy happiness”
Not necessarily, no…what it does buy is food, water, clothing, housing, and other stuff you need to, y’know…live.
So…money doesn’t buy you happiness I guess. It just buys you LIFE.
Now if you’ll excuse me…I’m going to go kill people.
Things that bother me #2 Why does nobody know how to cast nicholas cage?
Ah, Nick. Constantly known as a bad actor…but it’s not your fault. It’s your agent and the casting director of almost every movie you’ve been in.
See, Cage is constantly cast a a pure hero. Be it in action movies or…oh god…the wicker man remake. Quite frankly, he’s simply not good at it.
What he is good at is villains and reluctant heroes. Think about all the films in which you enjoyed Cage’s performance. It’s the ones where he’s either an outright bad guy or a flawed hero. The rock, for example. His character simply ain’t cut out for this, and it’s the kind of character Nick’s good at, and it also clashes perfectly with Sean Connery’s rogue military badass. I swear, those two CARRIED that movie.
The perfect example, however, is in face/off. What’s the best part of the movie? The bit at the beginning, where Nick Cage is running around playing his arse off of a crazed, manic villain. My god, was I looking forward to more of this. Sadly, the roles swapped within the first half hour, and we ended up with travolta’s less fun villain and Nick completely failing to play the really good guy.
So, movie producers, when you want a crazy villain or a hero who kinda sucks at being a hero, call Nicholos Cage, when you want an out and out good guy…Call someone else. Anyone else.
5 types of annoying people
In honor of me finally getting some filming done, here’s some people who annoyed me on my epic quest to get some filming done.
People who stand in passageways talking. Forever.
Mainly, these idiots hang around in supermarkets. You’re trying to get some shopping done. You’ve got your pizza. You’ve got your microwavable rat-thinly-disguised-as-chicken sub. You’ve got your milk. Now all that’s needed is some biscuits. Chocolate digestive, of course, but these f***ers have their own plans, and it involves talking for as long as they feel like it in the middle of the f***ing aisle. Never moving, never pausing, never acknowledging a world exists outside their little conversation bubble. You try to go up another aisle, but aghast! They’re here too. It becomes a case of repeatedly visiting seperate aisles waiting for an opportunity to move forward. Conversation’s one thing, p***ing me off is another.
People who appear to be moving on an invisible rail.
“They told me, if I ever disengaged from the rail, I would DIE.”-Wheatley, portal 2. Most people aren’t cheery stephen merchant voices in blue orbs, although some people seem to think it. They come in all shapes and sizes, but whoever they are, they deviate from their path for no one. If you ever wonder why you’re the only one who ever says excuse me, these people are why. Get in their way, and expect to be met with an accusing glare that says “I WILL trample over you. Because I am no man. I AM MANTRAIN, WOOT WOOT!”
Entitled old people.
Unearned respect is a bad thing, people. It’s the reason people can go around pretending to care about third world countries by just sharing videos on facebook (dohohoho, how current of me!), and it’s the reason old people seem to think they own ALL. It seems to make sense. “I’m the elder around here, I deserve to be treated right!” Sure, I get it. But, being treated right is different from expecting to be treated like god. Some things are simple consideration-giving old people seats, for example. You standing up for a little while is a hell of a lot easier than them standing up. But then there’s this attitude that they are somehow entitled to more personal space, to never have to deviate from their path (these people are natural mantrains, for sure) and to be able to look judgeingly at whoever they feel like. I’m wearing a hood? It’s F***ING RAINING.
Slow and discourteous people.
Another walking one! It’s one of the most basic of human activities, but a lot of people just can’t quite nail it. Slow people are slow, and that’s okay, whatever be the reason, disability, old age, or simply wanting to take things slow. Fine. Surely though, these people must be aware that they are slow, and that there are people behind them. People who may be in a hurry. Wouldn’t the kind thing to do be to, oh, I dunno, move out the way? Clearly, they’re in no rush. No, all of us people who aren’t quite so relaxed are forced to sit back and fume as we wait for an opportunity to pass. Seriously, do people need a walking licence now? Is that where we are?
Overprotective mothers and their devil spawn.
So, you’re in a game store. With the current economy, it’s probably closing down (Dohoho, I’m so f***ing current today!) and you’re looking to grab a few bargains. One problem though. Some little brat is scampering around like a cat trying to trip you up. What’s worse, is that if you bump into the kid, or even hang around in the same place for too long, you get a glare from it’s mother that should be reserved for Gary glitter. What? Your damn kid won’t leave me alone, not the other way around! Even when they’re babies, these people are annoying, taking up the same position of passageway blocker. What, do you want me to do the f***ing hurdles over the kid? I’ll do exactly as I did in P.E when asked to perform such a task; Kick it out of the damn way.
By the way, I’ll be making some kind of effort to update more. I dunno, I’ll go more annoying places. You guys’ll be the death/psychosis of me…
This day is getting interesting.
So. When I stepped out of my room this morning, I was greeted by the sight of Aaron newman wearing a brothers cider cowboy hat and a brothers flag as a cape.
The day only became more eventful. I emailed my tutor again about the possibility of getting SOMETHING done, and this time tagged it as high importance. Seems that woke him up, as I got an appointment this afternoon, and I’m to attempt a film in little over two weeks.
To be honest, it’d be possible if I had editing help. I don’t. Inevitable, the mac will disagree with me, and I’ll have to wait at least a week for some kind of help. At least, I guess, I finally got a tutorial. True, pretty much every tutor has refused to give some advice until now, two weeks before the deadline, but better stupidly late than never.
I did what any logical person would do when faced with the complete terror of “wait they seriously expect me to get something half decent done that quickly?”. I bought a Robin Williams movie. I ain’t watched Jumanji in ages, and that made me sad. As usual, there was an extremely, unbelievably hot girl on the tills. There always is in my experience of CeX. So there I am, desperately trying not to make eye contact. Or eye contact with any other area of her body. I feared I may be tagged as a sexist pig who rapes baby seals if I did. I got to the front of the queue, and begged the whatever entity is out there not to make me go to her to pay. “Please, god, odin, buddha, cthulhu, reapers, whatever, please allow me to avoid this awkward situation, Please, I do not cope well with this kind of situation without the aid of alcohol, plea-”
Of course, it all fell on deaf ears. I walked to the checkout wondering how wrongly accused sexists are treated in jail. I literally spent most of the time pretending to read a little info sheet on the desk. I know cex’s policy on buying phones off by heart now. I grabbed my Robin Williams vehicle and the change, emitted what may have been a small yelp as thanks, and went for the door like they started playing “friday”.
Gorramit, I need to get laid.
You’re probably asking two questions. One is “Did you actually take a course to become that hopeless with women?” and two is “If need to start planning an impossible two week film, what the hell are you doing on your tumblr?”.
Simple, my friends. I was practically born awkward as hell, and I lived on the internet for a while, when things go wrong, it’s second nature for me to go complain about it on the internet, and funny rants is kind of what I do. I’m like Dr cox, but not a Doctor. Or phalically named. Every cloud, all that.
